We had a special guest at my parents’ house for Mother’s Day this year. His name is Beauregard Puppyton Strayhound and he is the doggiest dog I have ever met. Ever. “Dog” with all caps and an exclamation mark.

My dad woke up one Saturday morning in April to find a dog crying at the front gate. Dad saw the dog and didn’t understand what a fully grown dog would be doing begging at a stranger’s house. So Dad went out to introduce himself. As it turns out, Beauregard is not an adult. Oh no. Beauregard is a three or four month old puppy who can put his paws on the shoulders of my 5′ 2′ frame and devourers Beneful Puppy Food straight from the thirty pound bag.

My parents called animal control to file a report and posted fliers in the area but, if Beau has an owner, they’re still in the wind some three weeks later. We suspect, very strongly, that Beauregard P. was the victim of a dump job.

When my mother first told me about Beauregard, I told her that he would probably be a hundred or more pound dog. I told her that they were not equipped, their lifestyle not compatible. I advised her to contact a rescue organization and start training now so that it would be easier to find him a home. I told my mother, directly, that he would be a hundred pounds (and her fourth dog) and she couldn’t keep a hundred pound dog. She told me, more directly, that he would not be a hundred pounds. But what about keeping him? We were apparently not discussing it.

Beauregard will have been with my parents for over a month next week and will be making his second trip to the vet on June 3 – this time to be neutered. Both of my parents cringe when I bring up the option to find him a nice home with another family. I’ve stopped bringing it up. Happy Mother’s Day!